The Millenium, broken promises I hate Kubrick

Christmas was awesome! New Years Downtown Vegas! 2010! If I don't get a Fucking FLYING CAR I'm gonna kill someone! I was suppose to have them in 2000 then 2001 so you've had 9 years Auto industry Don't give me no,"Economy/war/oil/green movement" Bullshit! Give us our damn flying cars! I saw them on "Beyond Tomorrow" 15 years ago! WTF!!!!!!!

If George Carlin Had Been a Huge Geek

I've passed a Euclid Rd several times.  So does that make all other roads non-Euclidean?  Aren't they all technically non-Euclidean already anyway since they are on an oblate spheroid?  Or is this one perhaps constructed on a tangent?

I don't know where the Hell that should go.  There should be a "fuck you" in there somewhere I'm sure.  I don't know if that could be made to be funny, even to dorks, except through the patheticalness of its attempting...which is absolutely required.  No bad idea should ever go unexpressed.  Where's the fun in that?  Nice boring fucking world you've built there.

Happy Chanukah!

Happy Chanukah folks.

Here's me getting way too excited about receiving socks for Chanukah one year.

Everyone enjoy the holiday.  I'm gonna go do up some potato pancakes and break out the dreidel (although I can't seem to remember how to play). 

EDIT: Sorry.  I forgot, I'm not Jewish.  I lost my foreskin playing Three-card Monte and sometimes I get confused when I pee...and because we used to keep a Menorah in the house during the holidays when I was growing up.  So, just substitute 'Christmas' for 'Chanukah' above.  Except for the part(s) where I wrote 'Happy Chanukah'.  Because still, Happy Chanukah to those to whom it applies. 

Anyway, I'm still gonna have the potato pancakes. 

Children Are Precious

I wanted to show you all something my two-year-old cousin, Frankie, sent me the other day.  Frankie is a Peabody Award winner and an abortion survivor.  He also sent this link for reference.  He made it on his iPhone.

 

Isn't he fucking adorable?

Time Machine

If I had access to a time machine, I'd go back in time to around when man first began to domesticate dogs and get someone to begin to domesticate bears.  House bears as pets would be fucking awesome.  Definitely beats the shit out of cats.




If I had access to a time machine.  But those motherfuckers at the Trilateral Commission have them all booked up to see Bob Hope perform for the USO.